Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
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