if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
