I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
