We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
