I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
