Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
