Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you win again, gameday.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
