If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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