Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
