he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My penis needs a shock collar
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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