I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
