I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
