Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
