TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
