Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
