NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
