Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
