Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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