either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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