I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
