your parents love me but you hate me
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
