Your tits are I can't wait for
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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