sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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