did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
