I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
