I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
