Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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