My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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