then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
