I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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