Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
