Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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