I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize