we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize