i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
