what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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