and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
