hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
