brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
