I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
