STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
