last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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