I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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