...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
