Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
