he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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