that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
