What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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