Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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