I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
