The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
