I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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