You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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