based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
