addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
