I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
