i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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