First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
