Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
