i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize