sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
