I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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