Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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