I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
