You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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