come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The best revenge is premature balding
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
