I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
