I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
