Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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