Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I will pee on everything he values.
It's blow job season.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize