remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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