Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
